I remember my middle school/beginning of high school years, my mom was 30 years old to me for about 5 years. I knew my mom was a cool mom, she dressed cute and had a cool short cut. And always seemed to be a younger mom amongst my peers.

I remember her going out, working what seemed like all day but I don’t really remember her sleeping. She just always seemed so UP, on the go and worked her butt off. So, to my imagination, I just knew I was going to have the same pep in my step with Noelle.

My mom was 19 years old when she had me, so in a sense, she grew up right along with me. I can’t imagine being a mom in my 20s! God, at Lincoln, I could live a whole 2 weeks off $20 LOL and had change to spare come the next pay day when my mother gave me money. Now, add a baby to that…oh please!!! It really just dawned to me recently that my mom was a young girl raising this little girl by herself, no handbook, no guide for young mothers, just her gut instincts. She knew she had to work to provide, she knew she had to give up her entire 20s to bring me on this earth, and never once regretted it or even complained.

I gave her the blues came middle school/high school. I never felt like she understood me. I was an emotional weirdo with a smart mouth who thought I knew everything and didn’t want to be told otherwise. Sorta how I am now Now I look at me and Noelle and if she gives me the same blues, we may have to consider shipping her to boarding school🤣.

This was an appreciation post. My mother and I butt heads often. Mostly because I always think I’m right (I mean, most of the time I am haha). But now being a mom, I know that I wish I woulda took it easier on my mom. Been a better listener, been nicer, been more understanding. Having the ear now to listen to her, actual hear her to apply her words to my life. Create a space in my heart to know and understand that she nor I are perfect, but we were perfectly made for each other.

My rock when I fall. My ear when I didn’t even think I needed one. Even though she doesn’t talk a whole lot, when she does say something, you ought to listen. My biggest fan even when I’m not so hot on myself.

I love you Mommy❤️

Signed,

The Perfectly Imperfect Mommy

I don’t think that anything or anyone could have prepared me the ultimate transformation after becoming a mother…

In a sense, before my pregnancy, I was still discovering who I was “supposed” to be. I had moved to Philadelphia in 2017 with the intentions of starting fresh; moving to a new, yet familiar, city perusing a new career. Checking things off my bucket list. But while there, I lost focus. I was still coming back to Baltimore every weekend, not fulling investing myself to my new city. Even though I was going to bars and restaurants, mixing and mingling, trying new things, walking around, I feel like I could’ve done more in my new city. Eventually, I met Noelle’s dad while visiting home and after that, mannnn I was never in Philadelphia. I just had an apartment there.

After having Noelle, all that mojo I was trying to develop got lost in the sauce because now I can’t worry about who I am anymore; I gotta figure out who this baby is! Now that we are both pretty comfortable with each other and she plans on keeping me around for a minute 🙂 , I feel like I’m back at square one with my self discovery. I’ve changed emotionally, physically and spiritually since having her; and not knowing to what capacity I have changed until I am tested. Becoming so overindulged with this idea that in order for me to be this SUPER MOM, I have to solely focus on my child. Nothing else; not me, my work, my interest, just her. That worked for every bit of five minutes haha!

Now here we are, 10/24/2020, and I can honestly say that this new woman I’m becoming has an unmatched focus on herself. Not being so tolerable to things that were once acceptable. Not being so comfortable with words being spoken but needing actions to support these words. Not wanting to go to a job where my soul is not being fulfilled. Motherhood has guided me to a different path; forcing me to look at my imperfections, acknowledging them and working on them. And believe me, sometimes I get knocked off my rocker, but I reset and regroup. Becoming better with writing things down, taking care of my spirit, not being ashamed of asking for help and becoming ‘Brittany’.

Noelle has taught me that the necessity for this self-fulfillment is not selfish, it is actually for the both of us! Like everyone says, “If momma ain’t good how is baby gonna be good?”

Cheers to all the mommas trying to figure shit out! I hear you, I am you and WE GOT THIS!!

Signed,

The Perfectly Imperfect Mommy

This postpartum body of mine has been through A LOT!! From being stretched to what felt like max capacity, to having my insides punched and kicked by a living human being in my body. I would say that I have truly earned these tiger stripes. Even though I look like I’ve been in some kind of battle royale with Freddie Kruger, I EARNEDDD THESEEE BABIES!!! This body has shown and taught me so much in a matter of months.

She has taught me that she is strong and can withstand ALL OBSTACLES! She is steadfast, almighty and also, forgiving. She has shown me that I can do anything that I put my mind to.

I have such appreciation for my new belly. Yes, she is a tad flabby. Yes, she has stretch marks like a MF and a new war scar (C-section). But, SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH A LOTTTTTTT!!

Learning to be more patient with myself and realize that these IG snapbacks DON’T APPLY TO EVERYONE! Lord knows if I had an extra $10-15k just laying around, I would love to go to Dr. Miami and get this new mom bod SNATCHED! But I have remind myself: “Patience, young grasshopper.” Be real with yourself. You cannot have a Teyana Taylor 6-pack outta nowhere. And to be REALISTIC with myself. Brittany, you have never had a flat tummy and it’s ok if that doesn’t happen.

I am woman. I am bomb. I will be good to myself. I will be realistic and kind to myself.

Body, you’ve got me through 33 years on this earth…let’s keep this party GOING!!

Signed,

The Perfectly Imperfect Mommy

After becoming a mom, life changes…DRASTICALLY! But in a good way! However, in these times of change, sometimes we want to feel like our old selves.

Here I am above: 26 years old, traveling my ass off, new small boobs on my chest and not a baby in sight LOL and about 30lbs lighter.

Me, personally; I’ve always struggled with weight and beauty. Yes, I know that I’m attractive, cute, pretty, great personality, all that great jazz. But feeling SEXY and confident in my body…..Eh.

Sometimes, us women, especially new moms with this new found mom bod, we have no idea who the hell we are now or who’s body this is that’s under our clothes! But, you get that one compliment at the right time and it lights your day up! Yes, I understand that we have to be our own #1 fan, but you gotta admit, there is nothing like a good ol’ boost of confidence every now and then. Your family and close friends can tell you everyday how great you are and how amazing you look, but it hits a littleeeeeeeeeeee different when it comes from other people.

When I came back to work from maternity leave, my co-workers looked at me in shock, like “WOW! You don’t look like you just had a baby!” Meaning, damn you’re not as big as I thought you were gonna be LOL. I take the compliment, smile and say “thank you” but in the back of my mind, I’m thinking to myself “You wouldn’t be saying that shit if you looked under this flowy blouse!’

Or when I went to my college homecoming in October of last year. It was surreal! It had been 10 years since I saw most of these people last, so naturally, my anxiety was on 100. I had gained so much weight since 2009, which I’m sure applied to more than half of the people on campus. Plus, I just had Noelle a few months before, so I was really self-conscious about myself and my body. Once I saw my girls, and we walked onto campus, I realized that this was exactly what I needed. This little dose of my old self. To see my old friends and classmates really made me feel like a grown kid again. Like I was this young, responsibility free person all over again for a matter of hours; I was even called a “hot mom” HAHA! That made my day.

But as time goes on, I am LEARNING to love this new body of mine; appreciating it and taking good care of it. This is the body that created life; this is the body that created Noelle. Coming to terms with my tiger stripes and belly that God blessed me with. Being more patient with myself. As well as being more diligent with myself and understanding that I AM IN CONTROL OF THE CHANGE THAT I WANT TO BE! In other words, keeping up with working out and eating healthy. Enjoying the gym (well before corona) and loving the time that I have for myself to just focus on ME. Attempting to be the best version of myself, for my baby and for me.

Love yourself and be on your REAL HOT MOM SH*T!!!!

Signed,

The Perfectly Imperfect Mommy